بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاء الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, that so they may be recognized and not molested. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.”
[Surah Al-Ahzaab 59]
Narrated ‘A’ishah [رَضِىَ اللهُ عَنهَا]: “Allah’s Messenger [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] used to offer the Fajr prayer and some believing women covered with their cloaks used to attend the Fajr prayer with him and then they would return to their homes unrecognized.”
[Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, hadith 368]
It is indeed a sign of the decadence prevalent in society when a dress code otherwise associated with the wives of the Prophet [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] and other chaste Muslim women duringhis time, comes to be known in some parts of the contemporary world as the identifier of women who have a completely contrasting motive to chastity and morality in mind when they set foot outside the house.

It started more than two years ago when I shifted to Zamzama Boulevard, Karachi. This was the first time in my life that I had lived independently as a nuclear family with my husband and kids, away from any other relative; aside from the three, short months I spent in Canada post marriage, living in a one-bed apartment.
Suffice to say, living in Zamzama was not really a matter of choice, because the circumstances that led to the move were related not to my whim but to events in my life that I had no control over. Truly, when a person cannot achieve what they desire in life, despite possessing the means and the apparent freedom of choice to do so, proves that some One else is in charge of one’s fate and destiny. And what Allah decreed has been very good for me, as time has revealed. But maybe I should blog about that in another post.
Moving here was very enlightening for me, to say the very least. I have discovered so many things about life and society in general by living in a heavily commercial area that is thronging with over-priced shops and eateries, that I could never have learned them in any college-taught course or by reading any book.
I have seen people of all kinds, living lifestyles of different levels, from the orange-uniformed sweepers who, unbeknownst to all, clean the streets of debris and clutter at night, to the couture-clad, designer-bag-toting ladies who frequent the restaurants, boutiques, bakeries and flower-shops during the day.
I have gone for long walks in the (in)famous Zamzama Park and noted the Nike shoe-and-apparel fashion show on display, overheard extremely interesting conversations between respectable, director-level position-holders who walk there daily in groups or pairs, and accidentally caught sight of couples making out behind the bushes in the dark.
Yes sir, I have seen and overheard many a thing that goes on at Zamzama, and finally, today I have decided to tell the world about it.
Last year, I used to walk from my cozy, top-floor apartment to the park. It was a short walk lasting barely five minutes, but it involved passing by several bystanders on the road and blue-collar personnel of shops on the main road (15th Street) that runs from Roasters to the entrance of the Zamzama mosque.
Once, when I was returning on the same route, I got a shock. The adhaan for ishaa salah was sounding, and I was hurrying back so that my husband could catch his congregation on time. Several bearded “maulvi’s” (I refer to them this way, because it paints the correct picture of what I mean. No derision is implied. If you find this word funny, please assess your own perception of religious people. Thank you!) of all ages and social levels were walking to the mosque on that road, either in groups or alone.
As a by the way, I find this trend very comforting – that in Zamzama, the adhaan blares very loudly five times a day (some mosques from Neelum Colony chime in with that of the Zamzama mosque), and many, many bearded men are visibly seen making their way diligently towards the mosque.
Anyway, on that night, I was walking away from the mosque, so several of these maulvi’s were coming my way, when my path was crossed by a broken bottle of you-know-what. I paused in my step to check if my suspicion was indeed correct, and as I read the label with a sickening feeling of disappointment, I saw an elderly, bearded gentleman passing by; a long tasbeeh in his hand, he chanced to look at me standing there with my foot placed on that broken evidence of debauchery.
I gave him a meaningful look deliberately. I wanted him to know that I was pointing out to him that broken bottle lying on the middle of the road on the way to the mosque, with my foot. He seemed to get the hint as his look transferred to the bottle. As he stared at it, I moved on, walking back to my house. I recalled what my maid had said once, and now I had seen the evidence with my own eyes:
“Baji, alcohol is sold in a few shops downstairs at night. Everyone knows about it. Guys come to drink it inside the sharab khana (bar).”
Shocked, I subjected my husband to one of my flare-up’s: “What are all maulvi’s including you doing about the open debauchery going on in this neighborhood? I saw the wine bottle rolling about on the road! This is supposed to be a “Muslim” neighborhood, and alcohol bottles are rolling about openly for us to slip on?”
Used to my emotional outbursts, he chose to remain silent (as usual). But I told my husband that if the piety of the practicing Muslims in the neighborhood was really up to the mark, they’d be revered too much by everyone else to have such goings-on being done openly. I suggested how something like this could not have happened even during the caliphates of the first Sahabi generations. Am I living in Utopia? Or am I just waking up from my idealistic slumber? You must be wondering.
I can sense the secular progressives raising their eyebrows and deriding this tirade of mine, spurned on on the basis of a mere bottle. My response to such people is that I am so grateful to Allah that it was the FIRST time in my life that I had come into such close contact with this kind of a bottle. I know, however, that this is not the case with a lot of my fellow Pakistani’s.
Our Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] forbade Muslims to eat at a banquet where alcohol is served, and cursed the one who doesn’t drink it but even so much as sells it, pays its price, or transports it. I am proud to exhibit the same level of “intolerance” for such a beverage, call me self-righteous for it.
Also, I am no ostrich with its head buried in the sand. I have friends and acquaintances in this city who directly know people who drink. I know it is served inside homes (ones with families, not just bachelor pads or youth accommodations), at weddings, at private dance parties in affluent homes, in hotels, and at upscale cafe’s in opaque kettles.
I have been candidly sought for counsel by a couple of women married to men who drink with their bosom buddies whenever the latter visit – in their own homes. These are the wives who have to listen to their husbands lament their reversion to Islam with their best friends over the phone, “She stopped wearing sleeveless; then she stopped going to dance parties with me; and now she has started hijab.” They have to struggle each day with the practice of their religion and the Islamic tarbiyah of their little children. These are the wives who get up and leave when their husbands stare unabashedly at graphic love scenes on larger-than-life sized television screens, in DVD movies they watch together on their home theater system after the kids have gone to bed (sometimes, other couples are also invited for the private home cine-viewing).
So, please do not think that I am insisting that Pakistan is a “Muslim” country or that it is very pristine. What bothers me is that when something starts being done openly, in public, it stops being a “personal” matter and becomes a public one.
One of the best things about living in “Muslim-majority” areas is that vices and major sins that are forbidden in Islam are not done publicly, such as public displays of affection, extra-marital sex (paid or unpaid), drinking, partying, drugs, clubbing or gambling. In Pakistan, anyone who wants to indulge in such pursuits has to do it “on the sly”. And I for one would love to make sure things stay that way.
This was one of the main reasons I decided to raise my children in a Muslim-majority area, so that I will not live the life of the apologetic, gaze-averting Muslim who stands at risk of receiving stares and looks for their garb, or who have to cover their kids’ eyes in front of pounds of exposed flesh during the summer months, or from couples deciding to make out whilst standing at the check-out line at the convenience store; the Muslim who stops going to the mosque, or fears for his child’s safety from social ostracism at his public school, whenever a country-wide terror alert is issued after an incident involving a Muslim-named “terrorist” (never mind the scores of annual crimes and murders that happen otherwise, in which the religion of the attacker or criminal is never mentioned as part of the story line). I am not speaking for others, but just for myself here.
There are some people (such as the afore-mentioned of my friends whose husbands drink) who have expressed their desire to move abroad, away from their husband’s social circle, so that their kids will not have to watch so many people coming to their house to drink alcohol and watch movies on the home theater. To each their own. Alhamdulillah that I have no such problem.
To cut a long story short, the bottle rolling about on the road soon became the least of my concerns. The cheap apartment right next door to ours has been rented out by its owner since we moved here.
First, it was occupied by a few ladies and some guys – there was so much coming and going of different people that it was difficult to decipher who actually lived there. I tried to not think negatively about them, despite having seen some things, until one day one of them got involved in a middle-of-the-night hit-and-run. Police chased her to the building as she came running upstairs screaming at the top of her voice. At other times, it was my husband who had to see ladies dressed in mini-skirts and garish make-up descend the stairs when he went to, and came back from, the Fajr prayer before dawn. Once, I saw the packet of a cheap contraceptive lying on the stairs in our building.
How many times could we have mentally slapped ourselves for “thinking negative thoughts” about our neighbors? They slept throughout the mornings and awoke at 2 p.m., becoming fully active at night, so our paths did not cross much.
However, it was when the lady in question was caught red-handed in a case of kidnapping and flesh trade that they were finally thrown out by the real estate agent. A girl whom I saw coming to the next door apartment during the afternoon (when I was paying my Internet bill at my front door), reportedly ran off in the middle of the night screaming to a passing motorist, “Please take me away, they are trying to sell me off!” I recalled the loud screams I had heard the night before that broke my slumber, and it all added up. Those six months, when I had these neighbors, were my first glimpse into the dark underworld of Karachi’s so-called “posh-area-living”, so to speak.
Next, the apartment was let out to two young men who claimed to have a rent-a-car business. To date, they are still our neighbors. One is the employer who is usually away (he claims to have two wives) and the other is his employee who manages the “office” from the apartment’s drawing room, which has its separate entrance. I was soon to learn that the rent-a-car business also has its shady side.
The office starts operating at 2 p.m. and has its major customers after 11 p.m. at night, till dawn. All night the door opens and closes, and men and women both keep coming and going. Again, my “scapegoat” husband gets to see young ladies wearing black abayas descend the stairs, usually with a slick, smartly-dressed young man sporting a cell phone, get into a waiting car downstairs and leave.
They wear just the abaya, mind you, and not the scarf or head cover. Their face is made up and hair let loose, with high heels loudly pronouncing their entry and exit into and from the “office”.
Many a time, just after my husband leaves for work with my daughter, who is in tow for being dropped to school, the office door opens as I make my breakfast in the kitchen, and I hear loud heels clonking their way all the way down to the ground floor. Then, because of the calm, quiet hush of the early morning, I hear a door slam shut, a car rev up and drive away on the road downstairs. Despite not making any effort to spy or eavesdrop, the reality of what is going on next door cannot but hit me hard.
A view of the neighbors’ trash from my front door
Glaring ‘evidence’ of their goings-on
Once or twice, on my insistence, my husband knocked on the office door and asked the man, “Who were these women who just left?” The man, visibly flustered and nervous at the unexpected and direct query, stammered, “Car…a car..they rented a car and went somewhere…”, to which my husband replied curtly, “I see,” and returned. We were back at the real estate agent’s office downstairs, asking them to give these two men notice of vacating the apartment too. Real estate agents are only too aware of the shenanigans that goes in most top-floor, tiny apartments atop commercial buildings in congested shopping areas.
However, the black abaya is not just used to cover certain dresses whilst embarking on sneaky night trips. Once, as my husband was getting the kids to sit in his car at around 9 pm at night downstairs on a main Zamzama parking lot (the one which houses the entrance to Brands 4 Less), I was standing leaning on a car nearby, facing the road.
My position belied that I was with my husband and kids, and in retrospect, it might have seemed as if I was alone and not with them. To my utter disgust, a car slowed down in front of me – a flashy, big car, driven by a lone, dark, sturdy man probably in his mid thirties – who was leaning towards his car’s window that was on my side of the road and giving me a pointedly inquiring look. I felt utterly disgusted.
I was wearing my usual black abaya and navy-blue scarf with niqab. That night, it really hit home to me how this sanctified black dress – the honorable ‘badge’ of chaste women as endorsed by the Quran – is meant to identify the utterly opposite type of woman on Zamzama Boulevard at night. Its just the way he slowed down his car and looked that made me realize this; I was just standing there with my arms crossed. This has never happened to me anywhere in Karachi before. You might say that I am just jumping to conclusions – but I cannot explain the look he gave me. It was the look that disgustingly said it all.
This year, I drive to the park when I go for a walk there, because of the above incident; it just makes me feel safer. And eventually, after what I saw further outside the park entrance, I am glad I started doing this. One night, I saw a few young women standing there. One of them was in a black abaya and headscarf, another in jeans.
Actually, I happened to park near the place where they were standing that night, just opposite the gate of the park; it was the corner of the street which has an empty plot of land where those who come to the park (usually men who come after office hours), park their cars (notice the choice of location).
When I arrived, another car slowed down behind mine, just as I got out. The girl in the black abaya, wearing red lipstick and colored contact lenses in her eyes, came towards the car (which was being driven by a lone man), leaned in at the window and asked, “Jee?” (Yes?)”. He wasn’t looking her way. She realized that he had slowed down just to park his car (not to talk to her), and quickly went back to where she was standing on the street corner.
I mentally slapped myself for thinking the negative thoughts that came to my mind when I witnessed this firsthand. It was just a coincidence that I had seen this happen, as I usually get a parking place closer to the gate, but that night I had not, so I parked closer to the rubbish dump outside Mall Square. I chastised myself for thinking bad thoughts about these women, but couldn’t help notice how the corn seller, who stands at his push-cart outside the gate of the park, and his group of blue-collar worker friends were looking at these women. I’d describe their expression as barely disguised but watchful wariness and disdain.
When I came back after almost 45 minutes and made my way to my car, I saw that the women were still standing there. They had been joined by another skinny girl. The men standing around on the road were still watching them warily. I felt sick to my stomach. After a couple of nights, when my husband, children and I were coming back after 11 p.m. at night from somewhere, we passed by the same place on the road (which is a daily route for us), and I saw the same girl in jeans once again, standing alone there on the street corner, talking on her cell phone. When any car that passed her by on the road slowed down, she’d peer at it with wide eyes, leaning in a bit.
What is going on is an open secret. Everyone can see what is happening; what is being bought and what is being sold. Yet, no one feels their sense of morality aroused by witnessing this scenario, or at least that’s how it seems to me right now.
There are two sides to every story, though. What I am trying to say is, that where there is demand, there is a supply of appropriate products and services. If men in this city would never come near zinaa (adultery), no woman would ever dream of standing alone, or with her comrades, on a posh-area street corner at night, in the hope of soliciting customers to make some money.
And so it is with a sad heart that I realize that my ‘garb of chastity’, one that I have come to so love with each passing year – my beloved abaya and the accompanying head cover that I also draw across my face; this garb that I don to every place, be it a crowded market with ogling lechers, or an upscale wedding with the latest fashion trends on display, is, in my own neighborhood, the symbol of a completely opposite code of female conduct at night.
On Zamzama, now I know that going out alone on the streets in this dress at night would elicit a completely different kind of reaction than the one it receives during the day, when men move out of my way in the narrow staircase as I descend the stairs, or look away and leave my path as I walk towards my car.
Sadly, if you’re a young woman walking on a street of Zamzama alone at night, wearing anything else will probably paint a better moral picture of you than wearing the black abaya, headscarf and niqab - the once identifying dress code for chaste woman, which is being brutally exploited by night-owl sex-workers to conceal their identities, as they embark to do some shady business after dark, as night falls.




Aging Singles: How Parents Cause Delay in Marriage
Believing in the Unseen & Its Impact on Believers
Eid Al-Adha – Start a New Leaf
Enjoying Married Life the Halal Way
Hajj: A Journey of Selfless Brotherhood
How Can Reverts Increase in Love for The Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم
How to Enrich Your Life With the Quran
Matters of the Heart
Myths and Facts About Muslim Marriage
Prophet Muhammad: The Thankful Slave
Prophet Muhammad: What Most Non-Muslims Don't Know
Silent Spouses: Misunderstanding Patience
Sustaining Spousal Love: Quell Insecurity, Give Space
The Prophet’s Wisdom at Al-Hudaibiyah











I don\’t know what to say, I never, ever imagined it could be this… bad? Sick? Dirty? And on top of it, to been seen associated with it through your Abaya? I am surprised that you have the patience to put up with all of this… sends shivers down my spine to imagine living each day, knowing what goes on in the neighborhood. I can only think of Lut(as) and how he patiently bore the presence of the shameless crimes committed all around him with just his tiny little household upholding chastity.Also, those families you referred to, about the ladies who seek advice with you… I can only think of how terrible a struggle that must be. Here I am, hoping to get married into a decent family where the Salah is offered (at least), and these ladies – with the knowledge of the Qur\’an and Sunnah now illuminating them within, how do they tolerate all the dark and evil deeds around them? I, too, was told about one such lady who was the wife of a pilot who drank heavily and loved to "party", you know what that means. Allah(Swt) guided her and she started advising her husband to give up his wrong ways too… only to be abused in return, threatened with what married women fear most – divorce. Ultimately, Alhamdolillah, he began to see her advice in a better light and I was told he eventually bought an abaya for her himself! But imagine what perseverance was demanded of her. These ladies you mention too, Allah(swt) must have endowed them with strength more than I could imagine in myself, if I were, Allah-forbid, in their place.My hope is all in the next generation Insha\’Allah, that is, our efforts should be directed towards preserving the Islamic code of morality in children, as much as possible, in these decadent times. These are the pre-teens and teens who\’ve just begun to be exposed to all the trash that leads to corruption, whether at school or home. In fact, more importantly, the toddlers who\’ve just begun to take their first steps. May Allah(swt) reward you for your decision to return for the sake of the better upbringing of your children… aren\’t these children the Islamic investment for tomorrow? If only more and more parents would realize this before it\’s too late. Meanwhile, the work of people who have *some* tiny bit of Ilm-e-Deen becomes even more important. We can\’t afford to lose heart, thinking nothing will work. If we can successfully rear, with Allah(swt)\’s Sole Help, even one child on the Deen-ul-fitrat, that\’s the Jihad we can do today, especially as women.(I apologize if you felt the comment was too long to read!)
Assalamoalaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,I would suggest that you wear a different-colored abaya when you step out of the home at night–maybe a brown etc. I think it\’s important to at least try to fulfill one of the maqasid of the abaya, which is to be recognized as chaste and not be bothered. So where that is being compromised (and indeed perverted!), it wouldn\’t hurt to slightly alter the color while remaining within the limits of the Shariah.Barakillahu fee \’ilmiki wa \’amaliki
SubhanaAllah so it\’s not just an "over here" \’Muslim woman\’ problem! I personally know of someone who dressed Islamicly (but was very misguided) and had a full blown love affair. Someone else was just recently telling me of someone who went on Umrah and met a fully covered sister as well and they both had an affair (he is married!)It is so sad, here I thought I was sad and angry because I felt people didn\’t take Islam and how they portrayed seriously. I know some of the best women who cover and it\’s like a mockery to me when I think of the images of comfort, piety, and knowledge that come to my mind when I see a niqabi or hijabi and to know soemone else is out there living and portraying this in this light Astagfirulah!
@Ameera: Please do not apologize! Your comment was very relevant. Girls should be very careful whilst choosing a spouse. Never marry someone just because his family is nice (whilst he is not), or because your age is 31 and you are afraid that you’ll be left "on the shelf", or just because your parents want you to marry someone and are piling on the pressure, even though they know he drinks or parties.
Just blindly obey the Prophet [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] who advised both Muslim men and women to marry someone with Deen and lofty Islamic character. One of these friends of mine whose husband drinks, was told by her mother at the time of the proposal "Its alright if he is an occasional drinker. So what?" Apparently his being filthy rich had motivated her to pressurize her daughter, because she had clearly stated from the start that because she herself went through extreme financial difficulties throughout her marriage, the topmost priority she’d give to prospective suitors for her two daughters, would be that they be very rich. Allahu A’lam.
Drinking is the cause of many other problems, such as infidelity, violence and verbal abuse towards wife and children. It "covers" the intellect and makes a person do crazy things when "under the influence". You are right in your stipulation that any prospective candidate at least be regular in his fard prayers. That’s very important!
I always advise girls who come to me with questions that they should marry a "Maulvi".
Myself included, all my friends who are married to bearded men who are religious are very, very happy, masha’Allah. Maulvi’s treat their wives very well and overlook their faults and outbursts. They also never look at or flirt with other women, on TV or at their office (which causes problems in other marriages I know of, especially if the wife is older and has lost her youth) and are caring, loving fathers. Allahu yarzuqukee ahadun minhum. Ameen.
@No name (!): Your suggestion is quite good, actually. I do have a couple of abayas in other colors. I have become so used to black by now, that I haven’t worn them in ages!
@Holly: Something like that happens here too. Girls put on abayas to go on dates, because their identity gets hidden. In Karachi, one just has to pass by the beach strip in Clifton on weekday mornings to observe this. Its hard to ignore couples sitting across the beach front on the benches and picnic tables, with the women/girls all in full "Islamic" dress. My gheerah gets aroused when I see this wonderful dress code that Allah has ordained for us in the Quran, get exploited like this for worldly gains. And that too for hiding yourself from the world while disobeying Allah! Subhan Allah. The irony!
Jazakillah for that dua!
I totally understand what you say, in fact, some of the points you emphasized in your comment… I’ve already written half an article on that… "To my single Muslim sister, with love…" Parental pressure, aging… it all compounds the issue of marrying for the right reason, leading to problems later on like you mentioned. I totally believe you about the "Maulvi" choice and told a cousin that too, hehe.
I’ll complete that article soon Insha’Allah and send it to you to get your thoughts/comments/critique. I was thinking about sending it to MM, mainly because I myself find little in the way of direct, heart-to-heart advice on the internet, for a single Muslimah when she really needs it! Jazakillah for your motivating reply!
So heartfelt is this article!!! I have felt the same frustration having witnessed this in the galiyaan of Defence, Karachi.
Asslam u alaikum,very well expressed mashaALLAH!Whats ironic is that these changes have occurred within the past decade yet they are now so acceptable that so many of us no longer feel what we should (even the moulvis and the niqabis
)
asalamualaikum,i read another article in Dawn newspaper on Sunday and the subject was the same. The article made one point however that really struck me which was how people CHOSE to remain silent and let things change from good to bad around them and chose to be silent bystanders rather then doing something to prevent it. Everyone wishes things would change yet, when wrong things happen no one even speaks up to stop it. We\’ll all talk about it in our gatherings and shake our heads in anger and blame the government but surely there must be something that we, as average citizens, can do. i mean action!i remember a statement of Imam Malik that nothing will rectify the latter part of the ummah except what rectified it\’s first part. And if you think about it, what changed the society of the sahabah despite their great evils, was tawheed. The Prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) taught them tawheed until they lived it and taught them brotherhood till you couldn\’t imagine them otherwise. Perhaps our masajids and our imams can help bring about a change. If they can began short talks after each salah (and i mean short simple, to the point) and begin to teach people about Allaah and belief in him etc., teach others about brotherhood. And of course we as average Pakistani Muslims, we should try our best to give dawah to others and bring others around to tawheed through everything we talk about. We need to learn our deen and start spreading it to others the way Prophet sallahu alaihi wasallam did, being gentle and kind in our dawah and helping our societies. Lend a helping hand to whoever may need it whether he/she is good or bad. You know, SHOW good manners and call others to Islam. I apologize for the long comment.
I really don’t understand why such importance is placed on wearing an abaya and niqab? Why do we insist on separating ourselves from the world like this. Is it really that hard to be modest without wearing your usual abaya and niqab? Besides causing the usual physical impairment, how else does so much parda help us Pakistani Muslim women? I don’t understand why normal does not exist anywhere. It’s either walking around under covered or fully covered.
I always have a concern with elderly women these days.We,young and educated young men,when we ask for hand of their daughters,we are shown the red flag because apparently they have set quite high standards.They want filthy rich husbands for their daughters.Some one having a big business.And now let me tell you how things work.
Our parents are also responsible for this. See when guys in the age range of 23-27 age range want to get married, some of our parents reject our ideas.They want us to be really stable. That takes time considering a middle class master-level educated man (MBA,MSC etc) our ages hit 30′s in the process.They don’t regard the feelings of young men. We have strong desires, sister. Its always there since puberty. Tick tocking like a bomb seriously. We really have hard time controlling these natural desires. Its a big test for us from Allah. These desires are much stronger then women’s. I have seen many friends of mine going the dangerous route JUST because they (men) are not according to the wedding standards of Pakistani culture.
This wild cycle brings forward such a dark culture which you have presented so eloquently in your blog. This culture puts forward a “demand” of such girls from such young men (these young men are low in iman I know- but again there is no other outlet where they can vent their sexual frustration) we ourselves have brought this upon ourselves sister. We have created this culture.
I humbly request all the sisters who are reading your blog to just lower their standards a little bit and have trust in Allah that the pious man they get married to will care about them and will earn more after marriage. Some one earning 70-80k/month today will be earning a lot more tomorrow. Things never remain same, this is our trust on Allah. You just have to trust Allah. This culture also has manifested plenty of unmarried Pakistani women well past their 30′s because in their 20′s they were so absorbed with their demands of men coming straight from “Cinderella” movies. I guess this is enough of my ranting
Jazak Allahu khair for letting us look at the issue from this perspective. May Allah guide the parents and young adults of our ummah to not cause unnecessary obstacles in marriage. Ameen.
For sure, you are right about the fact that one of the reasons why adultery flourishes is because marriage of young adults is made difficult. And Allah knows best.
BTW I am surprised that you mention that 70-80k per month is not considered good enough by girls or their parents when considering proposals from boys! Really? This is quite a good salary for someone (a guy) who is just getting married, in my opinion.
If that is indeed the case, though, it truly is very, very sad!